Graffiti and stuff

Stuff:

Its been a pretty relaxing weekend so far. Haven’t done too much but thats what vacations are about, right? I ending up spending all day Thursday cleaning my messy apartment. Its nice to get the place back in order, now if I can just keep it that way. On Friday I went down to Springfield to visit the folks. I was going to stay until Saturday but opted to go ahead and come back. I just wasn’t in the mood to stay. It made for a pretty long day, but I really didn’t mind the drive. I had a nice visit with my parents.

I ending up going out to Missie B’s last night around 1:00am. Kinda late, but thats usually enough time to talk to a few people and have some laughs. Its seems as though whenever I go out anymore I’m by myself. I miss going out with a big crowd. Tonight I think I’ll go to Tootsies for the Sunday show. Since I don’t have to work tomorrow I don’t have to worry about getting back early. I’ll probly come home early anyway. Who knows, maybe I’ll meet some people tonight. . . that would be nice.

Graffiti:

I’ve seen this graffiti angel around midtown quite a bit lately. Don’t know if its gang related or not (probly is) but I think its kind of interesting. I’ve found that when I’m driving around recently, I’ve been keeping an eye out for new ones to pop up.

Change of Plans

I’ve decided to cancel plans to go to Chicago. I’m a little disappointed, but right now I’m just not in the mood to go by myself. All the reservations were refundable so its not like I’m losing out on anything. I don’t know, I just don’t feel the need to go right now. I was really looking forward to the train ride, but oh well, there will be another time. Maybe I can talk some people in to going later this fall or winter. Rates will still be cheap all the way until Spring. I need the time to work on myself and clean up the apartment. Yikes! Its a mess.

I think I will just enjoy the few days off, maybe go down to Springfield to visit my parents for a day. Or maybe not. I’m very indecisive these days.

Moving Forward. . .

Time to move forward. . . Time for change. . .

I started taking Wellbutrin on Monday on advise from my wonderful lesbian shrink. It’s a light antidepressant that I’ve taken before. However, it was about 8 years ago and that was to help quit smoking. (Wellbutrin=Zyban) Its a low dose, I just need a slight kick in the ass. I know I don’t have any negative side effects, so I’m pretty comfortable with it. I just hate the idea of chemically altering my mood. It won’t be a permanent thing though, and I’ve actually felt better today (and I don’t think it had any thing to do with the drug) So thats a good thing.

As far as A goes, here is the message I sent Monday (yesterday) night: “I miss u too. I wish I could make that night go away. I will respect your request. Take care Alberto.” And with that, I’m letting go. . . moving forward.

Bad Weekend

So this weekend hasn’t been so great. The more I try to be positive, the more I go the opposite direction. However, the one good thing that happened was that I went to the Plaza Art Fair and met John Ong. We spoke for a brief moment after he was done singing with the group he was performing with. The Plaza was hella busy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people there. It would have been a nice evening if I had been in a better mood.

I broke down and called A tonight. This is the text I just received:

“got ur msg. Please dont call me. I miss u like crazy. Forget bout me. k.”

I miss A. . . why am I so scared of relationships anymore that I constantly push people away? Actually, I think I know the answer but am to afraid to admit it. I know what I have to do, just don’t have the energy right now. Blech. . .

Upgrade

Amtrak came through for me again. I got a call this afternoon from Amtrak asking if I would like the promotional upgrade to a roomette for my trip to Chicago. I really didn’t care to pay the extra cost for the trip up so I asked if she had anything for my return. After a couple minutes of checking the agent returned and offered me a great deal, 66% off the regular price for a private room. I’m now booked in room 8 on car 330 for my trip back to KC. I’m really glad about this because it makes the return so much more enjoyable. I’ll also be able to use the first class metropolitan lounge in Chicago while I wait to board. Thanks Amtrak!

Dumper or Dumpee?

Which is better? To be the dumper, or the one being dumped? Let’s face it, they both suck. At first thought, I would think it would be better to be the dumper because you are the one in power and are making the choice to get out of the relationship. However, if you really care for the person, but the relationship just isn’t right, then being the dumper is really the pits.

I feel incredibly guilty for dumping A. I do care for him and I wanted things to work out. But things just didn’t and I don’t think it was necessarily my fault. I still feel guilty though. I almost called him tonight but stopped. This is so hard. Do I miss A or am I just lonely?

Goodbye Brett Somers

I’m saddened to have just learned that Brett Somers passed away on Saturday 9/15/07. She was one of my favorite panelists on one of the greatest game shows to ever air, Match Game. I used to watch the show religiously as I grew up and Brett always cracked me up.

Goodbye Brett, you were an original.

Kansas City Likes/Dislikes

10 Things I hate about Kansas City

1. The city is too spread out
2. No light rail
3. No decent gay nightclubs, mostly just dirty and dingy neighborhood bars
4. Too conservative
5. Downtown becomes dead after 5:00 pm
6. The roads are in terrible condition
7. Too damn cold in the winter
8. Major performers don’t come here
9. It’s out in the middle of nowhere
10. Everyone thinks we are backwards here

10 things I like about Kansas City

1. Easy daily commutes
2. Grinders
   
3. Country Club Plaza
4. The giant shuttlecocks at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art
5. J.C. Nichols fountain on the Plaza
6. Amtrak service
7. Cheap to live here
8. The 4 Bartle Hall sculptures that give the KC skyline originality
9. The Uptown Theater
10. The Missouri River

Missouri Gay Rodeo

A few days ago my old roommate gave me a couple tickets to the Missouri Gay Rodeo here in town so today B and thought we would go take a look. It was pretty fun, but where are the hot cowboys?? None today. The rodeo seemed to go kinda slow but it was interesting none the less. I used to go to Rodeo’s as a kid and always enjoyed them. To me, a rodeo isn’t a rodeo unless its in some small town in a beat up arena with the smell of horse shit everywhere. Now there’s where you will find the hot cowboys.

The weather has really cooled down and today is downright chilly. Fall is definitely on its way. Yuk! I would much rather have 100 degree weather then this. I need to move somewhere where its warm all year round.

Booked

So its 9/11 and I don’t even feel like going there. . . so I won’t. . . Too long of a post involved. 

I spoke with my good friend N in Atlanta today and he has decided to go home to the Philippines for his vacation at the end of the month.  We had kinda talked about meeting up somewhere for a vacation together but I guess thats now out of the picture.  I’m glad he’s going home though, he could use the rest and relaxation that comes with going home.  

So I looked online and found some great rates for a quick trip on Amtrak to Chicago and back.  It’s all refundable so if I find something better or just plain change my mind I can get my money back.  I could also use some time out of town.  If nothing changes, I will take the Southwest Chief out of Kansas City Union Station on 9/27/07 up to Chi Town.  My favorite hotel,  Days Inn in Lincoln Park, was cheap enough so I’m all set.  I’m hoping I will get a call from Amtrak later in the month asking me to upgrade to a roomette for the trip back home.  (I’m booked coach both ways right now)  Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t.  But when they do, its really a bargain, and I like having a room to myself on the way back.  If not, thats ok too, I’ll just enjoy the ride.   I looking forward to hearing that voice. . . All Aboard!